Apparently The Key to A REALTOR's® Success Is Tight Skin

So claims one let's call her EW of so and so vitality medical something or other in the most ridiculous solicitation ever to land in my inbox. 

Lucky for me, EW, a woman whom I've neither met nor heard of before so profoundly wants me to increase my income and "give me the edge over other Real

Estate Agents" she is offering two exclusive skin tightening and inch loss tightening treatments guaranteed to make me look 10 years younger. A value of $949.00 all for free. Why this generosity? because as she puts it: " I know first hand what it's like to be a Real Estate Agent and I want to help you be the best you can be" without having to undergo expensive, invasive treatment.

Nice! I'll take an edge and exclusivity any time. Except that an invitation to call and book an appointment is followed by: " My staff are aware that this exclusive offer in(sic) only available to Realtors."  

What happened to my edge? Where's the exclusivity since I only have one face?

To prove the effectiveness of the treatments,

EW then offers up that 10 years ago she felt old, unattractive, washed up and sexy wasn't even in her vocabulary so after buying this company and getting the treatments she, at 46 years old, now enjoys life with a passion and wants to help me "win the war on wrinkles and age gain." Even tossed in a couple pictures which, because this was considered spam, were abruptly scrubbed from the content. I can only imagine how old, wrinkly and unsightly she must have looked being an ancient 46 years of age so undoubtedly it will do wonders for me. 

Who knew that just by twice yanking my facial skin over my head and pinning it to my back that I could become a successful 'Real Estate Agent,' wage a war on wrinkles, and, stop the clock on age gain by a decade? 

But wait, there is an even brighter horizon. For the total package which she calls the somethingLift treatment, price unstated, I can actually remove decades from my face within an hour via wrinkle smoothing injections. 

Heck no that's not at all invasive and probably not expensive either. 

EW signs off by stating that she is really looking forward to partnering with me on my success and offers up two links. I have a ladder to climb, an edge to take, ten years plus additional decades to remove from my face so if you'll excuse me that link that includes the words, skinxxxxxxxxmen, must be the door to my success.