So You Think Real Estate Spam Is Bad.

By Penny Elizabeth Dutkowski, Broker

I'm accustomed to receiving spam from my peers and other types but over the last couple weeks the fraudsters were out en masse. Either there's a severe downturn in their industry of late over in the remote recesses of lawless environs or fierce competition must be encroaching on established turf.

Where's the NSA and CSEC when you need 'em anyway? No doubt it's much more interesting and entertaining to be listening in on and maybe even watching the extra-curricular trysts of our allied leader 'friends' and all but come on! Considering you've collected every possible telephone call; email; text message and keystroke to traverse the ether, can't you at least put that surveillance to really good use and actually attempt to rid the world of millions of crooks out to defraud the masses of what little we have instead of pretending you're here for us with toothless anti-spam legislation? I mean, seriously, if you can track zealots hiding in the shanty towns of tightly controlled third world despotic countries who plot terror attacks by exchanging notes made with news clippings, you surely do, with all that pin-point accuracy covert affairs eavesdropping type gadgetry already know the electronic footprints of the online hucksters, from the time they hit send, don't you?

And what's with this cockamamie opt-out when we didn't even give permission to be contacted in the first place? Speaking of which, it may seem an innocuous question when the first words out of a cashier's mouth is -"your email address?" Provide it and you've given them permission to contact you. Both lobbyists and lawmakers pulled the wool over our eyes on that one. 

There was this head scratcher email the other day as to its opt out logic where, upon clicking 'unsubscribe,' it returned the message: "you have chosen to remove your name from our mailing list, please provide your email address to complete the unsubscribe request."  Hmm. Then I got it! Spam legislation states that if we provide our contact information we give permission to be contacted. See the logic now? Unsubscribe and by default, voila! you've willingly subscribed. 

So, what's made it into your spam box? One of the most inane I ever had was from a stager who boasted of her abilities and how the property displayed in the promo pictures sold after she staged it. The before pics were of unmade beds, dishes in the sink and a pig sty of a house. The after staging pics showed made beds, a clean kitchen and a tidy house. Not one piece of furniture was moved or replaced, nary a stroke of new paint graced the walls - brilliant! the owner excepted, no one else would have thought to declutter and clean.

There's also the Lame advertising.

They think they're smart these promoters of aiaavgr and yncxtonoi (unjumble) types. First they completed the property search or home evaluation forms on my real estate web site then when stymied by my webmaster they turned to the 'contact me' function - ha! stopped you there too. Here are a few of the 'ahem,' inventive requests that masked sales pitches and if you think my blog is wordy, be glad I'm not posting their epistles. My remarks are to the right:

Email: ukvdekvd1986@

Location: , Alberta

Type of home: Duplex Side By Side                                    Only in Alberta I suppose.

Home style: Penthouse                                                        a 2nd floor penthouse - nosebleeds?

Heat type: In Floor Heat System

Exterior: Concrete                                                               try dec212012bunkers.foreclosures r us

Email: logynxs1978@

Age of Home: 51-99

Rooms #: any                                                                      will four walls a ceiling and floor do?

Type of home: Duplex Up And Down                                  so you want stairs in that "any" room?

Home style: Back Split                                                         it wouldn't be a duplex now would it?

Exterior: Asbestos                                                               I'll get right on that!

Email: xiucvtopi1981@

Location: , Northwest Territories,

Type of home: Townhouse                                                 New style of igloo, cool.

Home style: 2 Storey

Fireplace: 3

Basement: Dugout                                                             With or without a baseball diamond?

Heat type: Steam                                                               Might melt the ice.

Exterior: Vinyl                                                                    Cheapskate! Try Hardie board.

Pool: Indoor                                                                       Steam>melted ice>gutter>dugout>done! Location: , Colorado, Email: noamxheb1982@ Age of Home: 100+ Type of home: Highrise Apartment, Multi Level                Natch! Gotta see over the mountains. Home style: 2 Storey                                                        In Colorado count, base 2 = multi. Basement: Walkout                                                          They're usually drive out. Heat type: In Floor Heat System                                       Free courtesy of ma nature in north end. Parking / Garage: Built-in                                                 So an enclosed balcony then.                   Exterior: Wood                                                                Comes with. Lots of forestry out there Pool: Inground                                                                 Any particular size bath tub? Kitchens: 4                                                                      Eat out! too many to clean!

Peer Spammers
We're not immune from being spammed even by our own peers and not all of us, read moi, believe in annoying the heck out of people we don't even know for a chance at turning .001% into a client. Such spam ranges from, the flashy html displays replete with wonky math shouting at us to tell our clients they can make a gazillion% in one year by investing in some pint sized condo which looks to be constructed 5 years hence (maybe) out of lego's discards, to pitches for our business. It's not that our email addresses are provided by the boards either, it's that they're populated in lists by easy buck trollers who pluck them off our web sites or advertisements and resell them to our very own industry. Silly us, eh?

This great deal was from an uninformed brokerage. Our MLS® Systems where created to do exactly what they're pitching and it's second to none. Someone somewhere will fall for it.  
"Increase your business by reaching out to 39,000 Realtors online. Sale, 20% off any package. Increase your business by marketing your listings directly to other Realtors as they have the buyers for your listings. Our Realtor email can reach over 39,000 Realtors in Greater Toronto." 

As unintelligible as it is, it's creepy.

All You Can Eat Leads from $99/mth

"If you only want Oakville leads, we will only send you Oakville leads. It also distributes leads as you make your calls. That's why we call it All You Can Eat Leads! The more you make calls, the more you get leads. The moment you get behind in calls, that's when you've stuffed yourself with leads and you need to digest them before we send you more to eat!"  

And The best part? - "Offers are conditional upon joining XXXXX XXXXXXX Corp.

Nice! A new business model - pay your brokerage for the leads too. I give them 6 months with this plan.

Fraud spammers. 
From obvious bunglers to the more seasoned con artist, it's disheartening that some people actually do fall for these scams:

I won! I won! Was it cash, a can of coke, a bottle of Pepsi? Oh the suspense!
Received: from CO1PR01MB191.prod.exchangelabs.com ([10.242.168.12]

"WINNING NOTIFICATION FROM COCA-COLA SA,FOR CLAIM/REMITTANCE OF YOUR WON FUND,VIEW ATTACHED FILE AND CONTACT OUR CLAIM AGENT MR.TONY ADAMS BY EMAIL"

Those Ukrainians, so polite, romantic and Eduardian.  
"How do you do
No-one likes leading the life of a drudge. Our adept HR specialists will explain you how to yearn money without leaving your own home www.night.co.ua/
You are the one to choose when and how many hours to work.Ones you realise how wonderful is to have more spare time you will never spend time on toiling any more.
Bye for now"

Yep, I ordered my hydro from the U.K. before they shut me down. Who with at least one active brain cell would create a utility company bill with 'Itrust' as part of its email address? 

From Itrustcolinmycra@macneill etc .uk

Dear Madam or Sir!
Your annual kWh usage report for 2013 was formed. You have exceeded your limit for electricity usage.
If you wish to use a discounted energy tariff, please, discharge the indebtedness. To view your updated electricity bill, please, click here

Good-bye,
Billing Department

Of course they'll charge you immediately, rather, your card to the hilt. It must be seriously bogus for Microsoft's spam filter to note: Be careful! This sender failed our fraud detection test.

"Dear Customer ,

The credit card we have on file for your MyBell. Internet service was declined when we attempted to bill you on 05/01/2014 for your most recent service fees. For this reason, your service could be suspended. Please visit our Account Information pages, located at click here and update your credit card information as soon as possible.

Once your credit card information is updated, you will be charged immediately, as soon as payment is received."

No, that person calling you to buy the property at London SW 1A 1AA for $350,000 is not me. I do not have a north, south, east or west Asian accent nor do I eat apples so terminate away.
"Dear Apple Customer

It has come to our attention that your account Billing information records are out of date.Click here for more details

That requires you to update your billing information. Failure to update your records will result in account termination.

Click on the reference link below and enter your login information on the following page to confirm your Billing information."

Wonder if the Receiver General ever got one of these?

Tax refund

After the last annual calculations of your fiscal activity we have determined that you are eligible to receive a tax refund 521$.

Please submit the tax refund and allow us 3-7 days to process.

A refund may be delayed for various reasons. For example submitting invalid records or applying after the deadline. 

To access the form for your tax refund, please click here

Copyright Canada Revenue Agency. All rights reserved.

Finally, there's this rather official one intended to scare you by diverting you away from exactly what they're up to.  

We regret to inform you that access to your account has been temporarily limited.
This has been done due to several failed log-in attempts.
Case ID: PP-462-33-68

To restore your account please click here.
Love this part-----If you fail to log in correctly your account will be suspended for fraud prevention.
We apologize for the inconvenience, this measure was taken for your protection.

PayPaI Security Team

Best to keep it locked Pay PaIzano. Bet lots fell for that one. Just imagine what they thinking up to get to digital currency.